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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25005124">Regarding Captain America's Recent Political Statements</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slybrarian/pseuds/Slybrarian'>Slybrarian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Conspiracy Theories, Gen, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, In-Universe Documents, Journalism, Rants</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:55:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,165</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25005124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slybrarian/pseuds/Slybrarian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which J. Jonah Jameson wants you to know about the menace that is Captain America. (OR IS HE?)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Banned Together Bingo 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Regarding Captain America's Recent Political Statements</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the "Leftist Propaganda" square on my <a href="https://slybrarian.dreamwidth.org/76058.html">Banned Together Bingo card</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Readers,</p><p>It has just come to my attention that the one and only CAPTAIN AMERICA recently visited our fair city, taking time out of his busy Avenging schedule to speak to the graduating class at his old high school, because it's been there a hundred years. Very heartwarming stuff, you may be thinking. The kids these days need a reminder that it used to be a lot worse, along with a good dose of 'ask not what your country' and all that, and surely our number one patriot would supply that, right?</p><p>No!</p><p>Cap spoke about civic duty and responsibility, sure, but in addition to pushing service to the community he also pushed flat-out pure-red SOCIALISM. He encourages, one might even go so far as to demand, that these impressionable young students become activists and support free health care and free education, using sob stories from his own misspent youth to sway them. As if the world needs more freeloading art students! He wants more government housing, and probably rent control too. More social services, more transit, more, more, more. Especially more taxes on the rich 'like we had in the good old days' to pay for it all! I wonder what Mr. Stark thinks of his employee's view on eliminating the one-percent? It's easy to understand why Rogers would look back at the hardships of his youth and think people need free medicine and free apartments, but like many parents eager to give their kids a cushy life he fails to understand that it's the HARDSHIPS he went through that made him a strong, patriotic citizen. If he is one, that is.</p><p>I'm given to understand that afterward there was an impromptu Q&amp;A session outside the building, in which the man went even further than his prepared speech. (Details are sketchy because no one knew Captain America would be there and so we're going off the student newspaper's account and about a thousand hours of YouTube footage, because obviously if you're meeting a living symbol of your country you whip out your phone to film it all.) I will post a point by point review and rebuttal once I have time to go through it all, but suffice to say it reads like a mixture of hard-core proletarian vanguard propaganda with the tweetiest woke youth talking points. It's modern cultural Marxism mixed with the original. Everything from climate change to labor rights to universal income aka WELFARE FOR SLACKERS to women and homosexuals serving in fighting roles in our fair military.</p><p>"I lived in a queer neighborhood after moving in with Bucky, and we knew more than a few in the Army. Shit, am I allowed to say queer?" I am not making this up, readers, this is a verbatim quote. Watch your language, Captain!</p><p>This is just the latest in strange and provocative actions by America's favorite Captain ever since he's been, in his own words, "let off the leash" and no longer answerable to the PR apparatus of SHIELD. As if he was on the leash before, given his abject failure to follow proper procedure there, choosing not to report his discovery of HYDRA infiltration through legal channels and instead deciding to unilaterally release countless NATIONAL SECURITY SECRETS into the world! Not to mention crashing tens of billions of dollars of taxpayer-funded helicarriers into the Potomac, where thanks to green hippies at least as much has been spent on 'environmental remediation', because apparently my generation could grow up big and strong while around good old leaded fuel, but these days a little starkium gets in the water and suddenly it's a disaster.</p><p>(See my last column on corruption in the clean-up of the Battle of New York for more details.)</p><p>I think, readers, that we may need to confront a troubling possibility: that this 'Captain America' is no more the true All-American Hero that he appears to be than the demented spider-creature currently waging a campaign of vigilante TERRORISM across our fine city. The question in my mind is, "when did this rot set in?" Many people have been questioning just how even Captain America could have survived being frozen, suggesting that the one we've seen since that fateful day where our great nation was ATTACKED by the FALSE GOD LOKI has been some sort of duplicate. The SHIELD files made it clear that there's any number of ways to replace someone, from cloning to robots to surgical alterations. Could 'Captain America' be an impostor?</p><p>Sadly, I think the answer is 'no'. It's worse! People focus too much on the Captain America part while forgetting that Steve Rogers was first and foremost a propaganda actor, who butted into the actual war effort and effectively appointed himself to be leader of a commando group. His first two acts in the 'real' army were to disobey orders to go on a personally-motivated rescue mission and the second was to bypass standing procedure and regulation to create a racially integrated unit. Now I'm not saying that was a bad decision, but let's face it, it's just another example of his disregard for the lawful authorities. Of course everyone knows he famously should be a MULTIPLE FELON for falsifying enlistment papers, and my research for this article has suggested that he may well have been a member of labor and even socialist organizations before he joined the Army!</p><p>Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's not really Steve Rogers, or maybe the poor man has been mislead about the realities of modern day-life, or maybe some of that brainwashing tech you hear about was used on him when he was waking up and he's a victim in all this. We don't know! We need to find out though. I am calling for our government to do a comprehensive investigation of Steve Rogers, to verify his true identity and review his actions past and present. Has he been a member of subversive organizations in the past? What is he up to now that he is free of government supervision? How many other impressionable young people has he been recruiting to his causes? The public deserves answers! Rumor has it that our Secretary of State is already looking into the issue of super-menaces and he should put Rogers at the top of the list. And while that investigation is happening, the Army or someone should get him under CONTROL. If he wants to call himself CAPTAIN and wear our colors and that star, he must conform to the same standards as any other SERVICEMAN. No more politics! No more social justice supersoldier! Shut him up or get him out!</p><p>Don't be fooled by his fighting Hydra and the Chitauri. His Communist buddies helped us out fighting the Nazis, but the moment that war was over there were Red Room assassins swanning around New York blowing up SSR offices, brainwashing helpless citizens, and ensnaring young women with lesbian blackmail. Don't let it happen again!</p><p>More as this story develops.</p><p>jjj</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"What the fuck," Steve said. </p><p>"Are you hate reading your Twitter mentions again?" Sam asked. "I told you not to do that, man."</p></blockquote></div></div>
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